Hello, I am hoping you can help me to track down  a book that I read years ago, likely between 2000-2003, although I doubt it was a new book at that time. It was absolutely weird and wild and no one seems to have read or heard of it besides myself! I believe the cover was light pink with black script. The book itself is about a young girl’s life and sexual experiences, thoughts, fantasies, and imaginings, some very strange, including a party of men holding golden dicks on sticks that are used in a sort of ritual-like scene.I believe it was arranged episodically. 
 I distinctly remember a very strange passage where the girl goes into what may have been some sort of club, then up some stairs. I believe she is led up the stairs by a man. She ends up in a dark room with a lot of scantily clad or naked men who have all these golden penises on long rods and are sort of parading them around. At one point I think they all formed up around her while she laid on a bed. It was a very erotically charged scene and that’s why it stuck out to my young self, but the book itself was not erotica, I think, though it had some sexual themes. It was more about the girl’s thoughts and point-of-view rather than about the suggestive scenes.  I THINK the book also involves the girl talking about her mother and their relationship, maybe some men the mother dated as well? I feel like I remember a part where she was attracted to a man her mother was seeing, but that could be incorrect.
 I also feel like I remember a passage from the book where the girl was talking about a guy that I think liked her and perhaps wanted to get physical with her, but she couldn’t get over his pimples. She describes his face and the pimples in detail and how gross she thinks it is.
This is something that has been driving me WILD every time I think about it (it’s been many years forgotten) and I’d love it if anyone could help me figure it out!